"Something to Hold"
This past spring we experienced our second miscarriage. Once again I experienced the pains of pregnancy loss & the outpouring love of friends & family who just didn’t feel like they had the right words or actions for the circumstances. To be honest, I didn’t even understand what needs I should have asked to be met. All I wanted was something to hold.
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In this blog post you will happily find…
+ the story behind ‘Something to Hold’
+ the future of this non profit day dream
+ links & information moving forward
The story that started ‘Something to Hold’.
My heart was heavy & my arms were empty. When you miscarry, wether naturally or via medical assistance - you deliver your baby. As a mother, no matter the amount of time spent carrying this child, you process the fact that this is where the physical carrying ends for you. “No longer in my arms, forever in my heart.” That instinct to ‘hold’ doesn’t just evaporate.
October is the month dedicated to celebrate the mothers & babies in this heartbreaking category. It is a month where moms you have lost babies bring awareness to the circumstances emotional, physical & mental that is brought by pregnancy & infant loss. Not only is this a chance to feel heard, it is a time to get the information out there that is needed for the unfortunate, yet inevitable mothers that will have these matching experiences in the future. October 15th, specifically, is the day where we light candles in remembrance of our babies. Babies that we without a doubt remember every day.
This October 15th felt heavy as we now had 2 candles to light. I wanted to make purpose of this day, of these events. After my second loss, wanting something to hold, I went to the craft store to buy some fleece. I made one of those classic fleece blankets that you tie the ends. I chose symbolic fabric that helped me remember our story & I slept with it every night. That blanket held many tears & soaked up many emotions. As October 15th went by, I shared that I wanted to gift a blanket just like this for another mama in need. The response was incredible. We ended up making & sending off 8 blankets, 7 of which were fully donated. Incredible.
Moving forward & my day dreams for these blankets.
In true “Abigail” fashion, a dream of mine was to run a non-profit. When I was younger I thought I would do something that involved mental illness, children, or something along those lines. I loved the idea of dedicating my time to serving others, being creative & organizing community to fulfill a purpose.
Although it was not intentional, this blanket giving light a spark inside me. The response of women that wanted to help serve whether financially & with their hands, it was incredible to witness. Some women wanted to serve because their own experiences & others because they had loved ones that knew the pain.
There is a need & the desire to meet that need is heavily present.
Taking things a step at a time, I would love to make this something for us as family to come together for the love of others. I have a list of mamas needing something to hold, a list of woman looking to serve & my own desire to put two & two together.
I am currently building this list for moms as they are brought to my attention & collecting donations to make the blankets. With a lot of research to go on fabric & legalities, I still want to pursue whatever this could be. Next on the list is a community event to host women that could all help make blankets. I want a closet full ready to send off as needed & more events scheduled to keep those blankets being made.
There is so much more this could be & I hope if the Lord keeps the doors open that I can rightfully deliver it to its full potential. It is truly a prayer & trusted in His hands.
How can you be apart of this now?
First things first you can join me in prayer over this idea, these mamas & these blankets.
In addition, I have a page set up with links to the Facebook page I created to keep things organized & to post future events. I also have a link to the donations page. All proceeds go to making these blankets!
As more approaches & prayers are answered for this concept, I will share with you all! Prayer is the biggest mountain mover as God hears us & uses us as His own hands & feet. It is truly a blessing & very healing to create purpose from our pain of losing these babies. I pray that we meet needs for these women & that they can feel His presence in their circumstances.